There are so many things in life we miss out on because of FEAR.
Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of _________.
Life is made up of risks. Do I go left or do I go right? Up or down? Should I stay or should I go?
It’s when we finally realize that WE are the readers in our very own “choose your own adventure” book that we are able to control of what lies ahead. What you do today will affect your tomorrow- but what happens if you keep saying “you’ll do it tomorrow when you’re over your fear”?
Where would you be right now had you made different choices?
I can honestly say I am so incredibly happy I conquered my fear of rejection and failure when I met Steve. I remember it so vividly the long talk on the couch in his apartment about fear prior to us “officially” dating. I was so fearful of jumping into another relationship that seemed to be amazing and having it crumble or fail. I was letting my past dictate my future. I was letting those experiences in my past jade me. Any potential happiness was being chucked out the door because “there is no way this man will want me” or “this is too good to be true” or “this will turn sour eventually”.
Both of us had been in some pretty nasty longterm relationships followed by relationships that were just toxic but our fear of failure kept us hanging on. It’s amazing how powerful fear can be when you give in. It can keep you from awesome things but it can also keep you in some pretty bad situations. While yes, it’s a healthy emotion, we cannot let it cripple or get in the way of opportunity.
I am so thankful that Steve and I stared fear in the face and told it to pound sand because here we are.
George Addair said it best “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”
It’s hard to put into words just how thankful I am for that one couch convo with Steve. It really changed my life. Here I sit, with an awesome roof over my head and a gorgeous little daughter. Blessed. I need to remind myself of how amazing it is to conquer fear. I need to remember that I am in control of my future.
Don’t let fear be the “chooser” of your “choose your own adventure” book.
“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real but fear is a choice.” – Cypher Raige (Will Smith, After Earth)
While looking up that quote, I found this video of Will Smith talking about fear. He is so right. Fear lies. When you get past the fear- it’s bliss. Pure bliss.
Here’s the interview where he discusses fear (fast fwd to 9:52):
I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. It brought me to the time Steve surprised me with jumping out of an airplane. I knew something was up, no pun intended, and I kept asking him the night before what exactly was wrong or going on (an example of fear taking over, asking the other person what’s wrong). We were literally tucked in bed and he finally told me that we were going to be jumping out of a plane in the morning. WHAT!? My heart sank to my stomach- but I couldn’t show that. That night- I laid in bed- praying. Please don’t let me die. LOL. But that morning- I was fearless. I wasn’t afraid. The instructors kept saying “It’s ok to be afraid, it’s not normal if you aren’t” Well I’m not normal because I had seriously conquered my fear. I was ready. I actually was able to enjoy the moments leading to my jump. I even wanted to open the door to the plane when we were ready! Steve had jumped out of a plane before, but poor thing is NOT a fan of flying or heights. LOL. That was ONE of the best moments of my life. I liked it so much that I did it again a few months later and have a ticket to do it again… who’s coming with me?
I’m sharing the video of me jumping out of the plane for the first time. Don’t judge my silly faces. 1- it’s hard to keep your mouth closed and your nostrils looking normal 2- I tried to make a funny face #notcute 3- I don’t care what you think, I HAD AN AMAZING TIME!
Conquering your fears is bliss. It’s not easy by any means, but it can be done!!
When you have anxiety on a day to day basis, fear is king, so taking the reigns away from fear can sometimes be a struggle. It MUST be done. I’ve held myself back from so many opportunities because I was afraid. I truly believe that I had a 36-hour labor because I was so afraid of the pushing part. When I would concentrate and “let go” I would go right back into contractions, but when I started letting the fear get to me- they would stop.
Hell, I was afraid to write this blog- ha- even this post! What will people think? I’m not “good” at grammar. What if people think I’m this or that? What if people gossip about me? What if no one cares? What if no one reads it? What if…
Stop. Just go for it. Do it. Take the leap! Start a new business. Cut your own hair. Dye your own hair. Go pink, purple or blue! Apply for that job. Tell that person no. Tell that person yes. Tell them what you think. Show up. Quit the things that make you unhappy. Ask that girl out. Ask that guy out. Join that sports team/club. Go to the gym- who cares who’s there and who’s watching. Invest in this or that. Follow your gut and stop hiding behind fear.
Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome. -Unknown
But how to overcome fear? Turn the fear into a positive. Stop thinking of the negative. Think about the positive outcome.
“What if this relationship fails and I’m heartbroken, all over again?”
“What if this relationship leads to marriage? What kind of wedding dress will I wear?”
YES (depending on your views on marriage… haha)
“What if this plane crashes and we are all blown to smithereens?”
“What am I going to do when I get to where I’m going? Should I stop for a burger or a cosmo? Should I go to my hotel room or straight to the pool?”
Just go out and do it. Just go for it. Just live. Just take the chance. Just jump.
I end this with one of my favorite quotes from one of my most favorite people (and a fellow Junior League sister):
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” -Eleanor Roosevelt